Jacki's Gems

I Wasn't Dead (it only felt that way)

2011-04-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

I started this project three years ago, and, like most things, it got trumped by this little thing called life. The recession forced a return to full-time employment, and, surprise, surprise, I learned that I'm only human and simply cannot juggle everything (working, writing, managing a relationship, etc.).

I've seen some new releases since last we spoke (the anthology Jacki's Jewels was released, along with several other Jacki King releases, and I wrote the next segment of Leslie Stetler's adventures--just haven't found a home for them yet). I've been doing some teaching and writing, but mostly--like all of you, I'm sure--I've just been struggling to stay afloat in this topsy-turvy economy.

This spring I'm doing my bestest to turn over a new leaf and get back on track with sharing the adventures and misadventures of just what people will do to get into one another's pants (or hearts) and what it's like to trying to write all these things down.

So, if anyone's still out there, stay tuned. I wasn't dead; it only felt that way....

What's Your Idea of Hell?

2008-03-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited to have started a new book this month. It's my very first full-length novel, and so far, the writing is going very well. I'm playing with a concept of what people's perceptions of hell are. Doesn't that sound like devious fun?!

Wonderful relationships (that go nowhere) with great but flaky, non-committal men would rank very high up on my list of what hell is like.

Sitting in traffic on the Southern California freeways in a Lambourghini would be another....all that power, all that possibility...but you never get to do anything with it. You might as well be sitting in a Yugo!

And what about orgasmless sex??? Talk about delicious torture!

I'm going to be away next week, so I won't be blogging....I'm flying to California to surprise my grandma for her birthday, and I can't wait!

Spending time with my granmda is much more my idea of heaven than hell, but hopefully my time away will give you folks a chance to come up with some real doozies of your idea of hell.

See you in two weeks!

FINALLY - Juno!

2008-03-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

I'm getting over a cold, and I've felt like crap for several days in a row. I haven't been writing, and that makes me feel even more like crap.

But I decided yesterday that I was going to do something positive in the midst of all this goopy, sniffly, coughy crud, so I hit the matinee of Juno, knowing that very few people would likely be there (indeed, there were only 2, and they sat in the wheelchair area) and that I'd finally get to sate my curiosity about Diablo Cody's first screenplay and Ellen Page's first role outside of that spandex-clad spin in X-men 3.

I was really, really, REALLY impressed.

The story was adorable and endearing. The characters were real, resilient, and easy to sympathize with. The dialogue was quirky and unique.

I have to say that Cody has a way of writing dialogue that I would liken to Q. Tarantino or Kevin Smith. I admire it a lot. It differs from the way most people speak, but it's so effective and powerful (and downright entertaining) that you don't care.

I probably pay more attention to dialogue than a lot of folks. Speech is my strength as a writer (I credit my theatre/acting background and intense vocabulary study for the ACTs) and my primary interest when I tell a story. I spend a lot of time alone and NOT speaking to others, so that when I do finally emerge from my cocoon and interact with the general populace, I feel a heightened sensitivity to words and tone.

Some of my fave movies for dialogue: Dogma, Shirley Valentine (although that's mostly monologue, but it's still speech), Ghostbusters, Pulp Fiction, Resevoir Dogs, Jacki Brown, Firefly (series)/Serendipity, While You Were Sleeping, and Stranger Than Fiction.

Some of my fave authors: Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jennifer Crusie, Christopher Moore, and Janet Evanovich (has anyone on the planet ever made better use of the word "Babe"???)

So how about you? If you make a habit of studying/paying attention to dialogue, what has been a movie/book/author that's impressed you?

Oscar Buzz & Diablo Cody

2008-01-25T05:36:00.000-08:00

Every year when the Oscars get announced, I usually pride msyelf on having seen at least 2 of the nominees, yet, this year, my schedule has been so bogged down, I haven't seen ANY movie since the summer rush.

I honestly think HP5 (Order of the Phoenix) was my last flick I saw in the theatre (what a way to see a movie, though....first showing at midnight, squeeing and squealing with fellow authoress Natalie Damschroder!).

I'm dying to get out to see Juno, though, and not just because it's gotten Oscar buzz. Some of you may not know that the screenwriter is Diablo Cody, a funny gal who first broke into writing with her autobiographical tale of a year spent as a stripper: Candy Girl.

I did manage to read Candy Girl, and I love Cody's voice and sense of humor, but given how slammed my writing schedule is these days, tell me what movies make the cut. What have you seen that is not to be missed this year?

BTW, my numbers are way up:

Releases available for reading: 7 (all from Amber Quill)

Myspace Friends: 235 (195 last time)

Facebook Friends: 21 (12 last time)

Friendster: (I give up on this one...it's kinda clunky and sucky compared to the other two; although, the "fan" feature really is unique and helpful)

Oooops, I Slipped (New Release Hits eShelves!)

2008-01-06T04:59:00.001-08:00

I honestly don't know what happened to my December.

Well, okay, I do know SOME of what happened to my December. I spent 2+ weeks travelling to and from Southern California to visit family and friends for the holidays. Then when I got back, I had to prepare to go to the grad school residency at Seton Hill University to teach a couple classes/workshops on creative writing.

So, while I had every intention of blogging for December, I somehow missed it. So sorry!!!

What I really want to talk to you about is.....thimbles.

(You have to watch Eddie Izzard's The Definite Article to get that...so, if you haven't seen it, GO NOW and watch him. You'll get numerous smiles and chuckles out of it, and I still have one more class to teach, so I can't write more now.)

To keep you busy in the meantime, check out my new release, A Little Lift: http://www.amberquill.com/AmberHeat/LittleLift.html

Isn't that cover gorgeous?!?! I love it!!!

--Jacki
http://www.readjackiking.com/

On Hiatus until NaNo concludes!

2007-11-17T15:14:00.000-08:00

I'm savin' up my luv to give you a smokin' December........

For now, though:
NaNo: 23,000+ words
MySpace: 195 friends
Facebook: 12 friends
Friendster: 5 friends

NaNo NaNo

2007-11-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

It's that delightfully wonderful time of the year: NaNoWriMo, a time when anyone who's EVER wanted to write gets the invitation to join in a worldwide write-a-thon.

I highly recommend everyone try it. It'll give you a new respect for what your favorite authors do on a regular basis, and heck...it might even give you a start to a new calling!

The thing is is that there are two types of folks in this world: those who want (or HAVE) to tell a story, and those who want to be told a story. And the beautiful thing is that there is plenty of room for either one in this world.

What I love most about NaNo is that it's that one time of the year when I get to be totally selfish about my writing. The rest of the year, when friends/family want to get together, or when the fella/fellas are at the door, expecting some of my time---well, I have to juggle it all. I have to don that superhero cape and frantically try to keep all the balls in the air because the "normals" just don't understand that the voices in my head really never go away, I just manage to put them on "mute" from time to time.

When NaNo comes, I get that "excuse" to shut my door, stay in my jammies, roll out the red carpet for all the voices in my head, and throw a party for us all....and what a party it can be...(although yesterday was not a very auspicious start to NaNo).....

Here's how my first day went:

I woke up at quarter of six, took the dog out, and wrote 3 pages. WHEEEEE

Then I took a break...had breakfast...took care of household chores (i.e. spent WAAAAAY too much time on email/Internet), etc...and wrote another page. YEA

Then I decided that having the Internet and my manuscript on the same machine was too much of a temptation to avoid writing, so I dug out an old laptop, opened up the futon in my living room, and created a little writer's campsite (complete with bedrest, snuggly blanket, drink, snack, research book, and lapdesk--to avoid my legs' getting too hot from the laptop).

After writing another 3 pages, the dog came along and decided my campsite looked like a great place to take a nap, and he demanded that I take one with him (what can I say, he's the boss most days).

So we napped. And here's where the problem kicked in. The laptop was an old laptop that I only use for word processing.

Now, a little aside here. I am a fastidious back-upper. I have a copy of my manuscript(s) on my harddrive, on my jump drive, and usually on a floppy disk. Plus, I have my MS Word programmed to auto-backup every five minutes. Unfortunately, it has literally been years since I've used this laptop, and in my haste to get to writing for the day, I didn't even think to check the settings on that MS Word. (Those of you with Spideysense will now start tingling because you can sense imminent danger.)

So in the process of getting up from my nap (see the aforementioned demand from the dog), I moved the laptop, and it accidentally unplugged. And guess what? It was set only to backup when Word shut down.

I lost those 3 pages of manuscript. BLEEPITY-BLEEP-BLEEP

After a cry-curse-fest, I sat down, started up again, and rewrote those pages while the essence of them was still fresh in my mind. And the surprising thing is that I feel like they're actually better and stronger than the first version.

I really hope this isn't an omen for how my NaNo is gonna go!

So the moral of the story is....I just made some mighty tasty lemonade out of some pretty rotten lemons....anyone thirsty? (Oh, and the other moral: always backup, but that's pretty self-explanatory)

Until next time....
--Jacki
http://www.readjackiking.com/

PS, for those of you keeping score at home, here are my current stats:
NaNo word count - 2159

MySpace friends - 140 (wooo hoooo!)
Facebook - 12
Friendster - 4

Jacki's Tricks and Treats

2007-10-31T05:27:00.000-07:00

Halloween is one of my absolute FAVORITE holidays of the year, so I'm doing a special blog just for today. It's a list of the current tricks and treats in my life.

Before we get to the list of my current tricks and treats, a quick
announcement. I'm also running a special HALLOWEEN CONTEST. The gory details:

I'm running a one-day-only contest where you can win a signed Jacki
King story.

Simply go to my website at ReadJackiKing.com and check out my
excerpts. Then email me (xJackiKing@aol.com) with the subject
"Halloween Contest." In the email, put the name of the story that
you'd like to win.

I'll print out each one and do a random drawing for up to 3 winners.
(Legalese: You must be 18 years of age to enter)

TREAT
I recently saw a Comedy Central special with one of the funniest comediennes I have ever seen: Tammy Pescatelli. You may remember her from Season 2 of Last Comic Standing, but her special (currently on OnDemand) was my first exposure to her.

Her story about the day her family got kicked out of Disneyland, in addition to her social reform agenda of the "Save-a-Ho" project had me in stitches! Check her out!

TRICK
Britney Spears. Clearly your already-questionable creativity got sucked out of you in "rehab." You're borrowing from the Madonna playbook of "religious controversy = good press + comeback." Enough already. As my good friend Misty Simon likes to say, "Stop yourself!"

TREAT
Halloween candy--gimme, gimme, gimme! :-)

TRICK
Between-season sniffles. I think I've already used up 2 boxes of Kleenex/Puffs this week. I love this holiday, but I hate this transition. (note to self: buy stock in Kleenex).

TREAT
A brand new snuggly blanket. I recently hit Linens and Things for the best snuggly blanket I've ever had. It's just the right size, and I got to test it out last night while I was relaxing before bed and watching TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (I just love that movie, but should I be concerned that I can actually nap to it instead of being kept awake by all the gunfire and violence?)

TRICK
The New Bionic Woman. There was absolutely NO reason to keep the heroine's name, especially when they already CHANGED THE SPELLING! They have changed EVERYTHING else about this show except the body parts she had replaced. No Oscar. No Rudy. No Steve Austin. No sweet little classroom of waifs on a reservation in Ojai, CA. They added another bionic woman, even (FAB choice in casting the chick who played Starbuck from the new Battlestar Galactica).

I really, really, REALLY was looking forward to this show, and I just feel cheated by several of the choices they've made.

TREAT
Family, friends, and fans.......I have the greatest, and I adore you all...Happy Halloween!!!

PS, for those of you keeping score at home, here are my current stats:

MySpace - 121 (wow!)

Facebook - 11

Friendster - 4

Online Crack (or, "MySpace, You Can Never Have Too Many Friends")

2007-10-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

After having been fussed at about NOT having joined the modern world and having MySpace, FaceBook, Classmates.com, and Friendster pages/profiles, I've spent the majority of this week creating them (Lordhavemercy, people, it was enough of an effort to get my webpage and blog functional!)

And now I know why I avoided it for so long. . .

THEY ARE AS ADDICTIVE AS A CHOCOLATE-COVERED COVER MODEL!

Instead of writing all week, I have been pouring over a jillion pages of profiles, looking for high school/college/etc friends I've lost track of and ogling individuals I'm a fan of---everyone from comedians/comediennes to sports stars, to actors to the almighty Duran Duran (I'm a friend now...WOOOT...and I got John Taylor added separately...DOUBLE WOOT)!

I'm becoming obsessed with it! I'm now on a quest to build the biggest, funnest (I know it's not a word, but my high school English teacher isn't looking and neither is yours) group of happy people I can! By all means, join in!

I think you can find my profiles just by searching Jacki King, but if you have to search by email, use xJackiKing@aol.com in the search string.

Myspace: 44 friends
Facebook: 7
Friendster: 4

Check in next week for an update...I wanna double those numbers, at least!

Al Gore would be proud...

2007-10-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

I did my undergraduate work at the University of Tennessee and had the pleasure of making friends with a nice guy named Paul, who was a nephew of Al Gore's. (Paul, if you're out there, email me! I haven't heard from you in ages!)

Now, he certainly didn't bang the environmental drum to the same extent his uncle does, but I have a fond spot in my heart for those days, so I do what I can for the cause....

When I saw this "Green up Your Sex Life" article, I was highly amused. After all, I consider two people, buck-nekkid and doing the horizontal mambo one of the most "environmentally friendly" activities there could be!

I couldn't imagine you needed any advice on how to make it more natural.

But I'd be neglecting my duty if I didn't spread the word......so get out there and save our environment (I'll be doing my part)! And if you need a little kindling for your fire, try one of my ebooks (that's environmentally friendly, too...NO paper!): www.ReadJackiKing.com

Is Honesty the Best Policy?

2007-10-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

I was reared on the philosophical staple that honesty is always the best policy. And in 99% of all situations, I agree with it. There is, however, a fine line between honesty and cruelty.

I was listening to the Howard Stern show earlier this week when he aired this story (below) about a single gal cutting right to the chase of what she's looking for, and a man who pulled no punches in answering her query.

Of course, people all over the country are chiming in on this debate. Was the man being cruel or honest? You, dear reader, can decide:

The following was a singles ad on Craig's List in NY:
------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------

What am I doing wrong?Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200-250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?Here are my questions specifically: - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms - What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings - Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)? - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there? - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out? - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLYPlease hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.Posting ID: 432279810

THE ANSWER:Dear 431649184:I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.Your offer, from the perspective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful' as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic 'pump and dump.' I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.